This is a short message to let you know that, unfortunately, trying to operate as an independent publishing imprint has not proved sustainable. Therefore, for a variety of reasons, we have made the decision not to take on further submissions.

We will continue to print copies of our previous publications, but mainly we want to focus on our blog – sharing insights and stories to help support our mission statement. If you have a story to tell, please do get in touch so we can share it here. Remember: you can share your story anonymously, if you wish.

As a final point, we’ve been trying to publish blog articles in topical series. It’s proved tricky (for personal reasons) and has resulted in long gaps between articles. Therefore, we will try to keep things grouped together as much as we can, but we may jump around a little. This is what happens when your founding editor has ADHD!

Thanks for taking the time to read this brief note, and I hope you have a fantastic 2019!

Best wishes,

Vrinda Pendred

Editor & Founder

With that being said, today marks the start of National Suicide Prevention week. On the way home from class tonight, I was flooded with images and thoughts about my journey thus far and what I wanted to convey. I am eternally grateful for all the people in my life, even those no longer part of my journey, who have been by my side during the lowest times. For the times they have talked and listened to me, and the times no words were necessary – just the act of being there was enough. I am thankful for the countless times they have held the hope for me when I had so little of my own. I am thankful for the times they have literally saved me from succumbing to my illness. I am thankful for the tools they have given me, the love (albeit sometimes tough love), and the few who have never left my side or given up on me. Not only have you saved me throughout the years, but you empowered me to want to save myself, which is huge.

The journey continues, and with that, the struggle continues; the struggle to find hope in perhaps even the smallest things…a laugh, kind word, hug, song…something that will sustain me until I have the strength to get up and continue on. As far as I have to go, I am happy and proud of myself for how far I have come. It’s been a long, vastly painful journey, but what I have learned from the pain is priceless. It has moulded me into the person I am, the person I am coming to love more and more. There’s a reason we’re all here, and I am determined to keep fighting and hoping so I can find my purpose.

So with that, I want to thank those who have shared in my journey and will continue to share in it. You all are the biggest blessings I have. In a world of immense pain, you have helped me see there is also immense joy and hope. Thank you.

I challenge those of you who see suicide as a mere selfish act to really reach out and get to know someone with mental illness. You will soon realize  there is more behind the stigma that is so pervasive in our society. There is great pain, but also a yearning for hope, understanding, and acceptance. Reach out and be the face of hope to someone who might be thinking of ending their life.

Just listen. Don’t judge.

Jennifer Scinto, Conditional Publications

Contributor to Check Mates: A Collection of Fiction, Poetry and Artwork about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, by People with OCD

If you have a story or message to share, please contact us here. We don’t mind if your story is inspirational or simply a way of getting things off your chest.  We proofread all stories, but we censor nothing.  And if you want to make sure you don’t miss out on the stories other brave people share with us, be sure to click the ‘Subscribe’ button at the top-right of this page.

]]> http://conditionalpublications.com/2014/09/09/suicide-awareness-week-a-message-from-jennifer-scint/feed/ 0 http://conditionalpublications.com/2014/09/04/the-importance-of-asking-for-help/ http://conditionalpublications.com/2014/09/04/the-importance-of-asking-for-help/#respond Thu, 04 Sep 2014 06:22:06 +0000 http://conditionalpublications.com/?p=1905 Recently, a ‘Check Mate’ of mine sent a bunch of us a group message saying they were struggling to cope on their own and needed help. Around the same time, another friend made a public announcement that he had lost a loved one. Dozens of people flocked to show support. Some of us (like me!) haven’t even met him, but we care just the same, through the friendships we have formed online.

The key here is that while our support won’t help my friend grieve, or fix my other friend’s circumstances, neither of them is alone. They both have an outlet to release their difficult emotions.

So many of us – myself included – are afraid to reach out when we most need to. I was discussing this in that group message and we all agreed a lot of it comes down to fear of rejection. We worry we’re a burden on others, or that people will tire of our problems, or simply not care, and our feelings will be invalidated. We find it ‘easier’ to go it alone.

Message to self: this is STUPID.

It has never been easier to do anything alone. On the contrary, it’s stressful and overwhelming. And no one EXPECTS you to do it.

There’s a term in the world of investments that applies here: ‘diversification’. It refers to the art of investing in many different areas, each uncorrelated to one another, so if one area does poorly, the others will hopefully pick up the slack and you won’t lose all your money. The point? It’s a well-proven fact that putting all your eggs in one basket is a RISK.

None of us knows everything or is the best at everything. That’s the beauty of the world. There are so many varieties of people and lifestyles out there. They’re meant to complement one another. When you start a company, you don’t do it all on your own; you have a team, each member with different strengths to balance out each other’s weaknesses. I’m sure all of us would agree with this principle.

So why don’t we apply it to our lives?

We’re constantly told to be strong. When people ask how we are, we’re expected to say we’re ‘fine’ even when we’re not. If we’re unhappy, we’re meant to take some pills and shut up. But hiding your struggles / suppressing your sorrows until it’s too late is NOT strength. Admitting you find something hard takes courage, and being vulnerable with someone is a form of bravery. Swallowing your pride and fears and asking for help when you need it is one of the strongest things you can do.

I challenge you (and myself!) – instead of waiting until you collapse to ask for support, ask for it when you’re going through little challenges. The smaller the challenge, the simpler the support request. It doesn’t need to be drama all the time; regularly talking about the little things is just making conversation. Get people’s insight right away, when the problems are still tiny – before you feel like things are spiralling out of control. It will actually be less of a weight on your friends’ shoulders that way, too

If you have a story or message to share, please contact us here. We don’t mind if your story is inspirational or simply a way of getting things off your chest.  We proofread all stories, but we censor nothing.  And if you want to make sure you don’t miss out on the stories other brave people share with us, be sure to click the ‘Subscribe’ button at the top-right of this page.

Today, I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 10 of Erica Tucci’s Virtual Blog Tour. Erica’s book Radiant Survivor: How to Shine and Thrive through Recovery from Stroke, Cancer, Abuse, Addiction and Other Life-Altering Experiences is celebrating its big Amazon launch on November 19th, 2013 at http://www.radiantsurvivor.com/book-launch/pages/pre-launch.php

Although the author reflects on her experience with stroke, we feel her message easily applies to all of us here at Conditional Publications, and our readers.

Erica Tucci had a full life as a corporate manager of a Fortune 500 company, a healing arts business owner and an author of three books. It all came to a screeching halt in June 2011 when she had a stroke that left her completely paralyzed on her right side. While spending more than two years in recovery, she gained much wisdom about what’s really important in life. She re-entered the world with a new mission: to use her story as an inspiration for others facing life challenges, which we all have, big or small. That story can be found in her brand new book, Radiant Survivor. Erica is also an official Online Ambassador for the American Stroke Association.

Yesterday, Erica visited Gill Potter at http://yoursacredpurposeblog.com/2013/11/virtual-interview-with-erica-tucci/, where they talked about important life lessons, self-belief and the challenges of living in the moment even during challenging times.

Today, I’d like to share with you a recent interview I had with Erica when I got to ask her some questions about self-acceptance, the effect her circumstances has had on her relationships, and her personal transformation.

——-

Vrinda Pendred: I really liked your idea about applying the five stages of grief to traumatic experiences. Our readers will all either have been diagnosed with a lifelong neurological condition (e.g. Tourette’s Syndrome), or someone in their family will have such a diagnosis. What advice would you give for getting to the end of the grief cycle and reaching that place of self-acceptance in spite of the challenges?

Erica Tucci: I feel the way to come to full acceptance of any circumstance is to surrender, and let go and let God, which I will talk about in a minute, but first I want to talk about the emotions we go through during our process of recovery. You should allow yourself to go through any emotion that you feel throughout the process, whether it’s sadness, anger, depression, or whatever. If we deny ourselves the experience of our emotions, they can fester inside and cause even more harm. But try not to get stuck in an emotional whirlwind. Let them move through you and then release them as best as you can. They may rise and fall throughout your recovery, but don’t let them overwhelm you. Now about surrender. My massage therapist has a plaque above his massage table that says “the Power that created the body can heal the body.” That is so true! So often we think we have to control everything in our lives, but we are “co-creators” of our lives, working in concert with God (Spirit, the Universe, our Creator, Allah or however you define the Higher Power). We must do our part as we travel down our path of recovery, but we must also feel in our hearts that God “has our back” and is supporting us every step of the way, guiding us to the end, no matter what the circumstance. And the outcome will be based on what you believe it to be. If you believe in your heart that you can recover fully, then that’s where God will ultimately guide you. I have a mantra that I live by: “I am on a magic carpet ride with Spirit at the helm.” What I am accepting is full recovery, and I believe that Spirit will take me there, in time. So why not put your circumstance in the hands of God and see how far you can go in your recovery? You may just have a wonderful miracle happen!

Vrinda Pendred: In your book, you mentioned past lives and reincarnation, and my impression is that you’ve come away from the experience a stronger person, with a richer understanding of life. Would you say that, in a way, you’ve experienced a kind of reincarnation within this life?

Erica Tucci: That is a very interesting way to look at it! If you look at the word “re-incarnate,” it means to have a new embodiment…in a sense, a “rebirth.” From that point of view, yes, I am having a reincarnation in my current life since I feel my stroke has led me to a transformation of self at all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I believe that my body is going to be better than it was before. My mind is becoming more focused on the present moment and not so consumed by the anxieties and fears of the past and future, as it was before. And spiritually, I feel I am growing by leaps and bounds. I consider my stroke a gift from the heavens for what I have learned along my path to healing and recovery. I feel that any life trauma that one faces can cause a person to go through a reincarnation if they open their mind and heart to the opportunities of personal growth and transformation afforded by the experience.

Vrinda Pendred: Do you think your stroke, and ultimately your personal growth, has affected your relationships with family and friends?

Erica Tucci: You bet! I realized who my real friends were when I had my stroke. My so-called “best friend” from before completely abandoned me. She said she had her own problems she had to tend to. I know what her problems were since we had been friends for years, and she could have at least come to see me in the hospital just for a brief time to show she cared. Yes, she did live a couple of hours away, but God knows how many times I went to visit her when I was well. In fact, I was the one who always went to visit her; she rarely came to visit me before my stroke. Geez, if we all waited until we had no problems in our lives, nobody would help anyone in times of strife, since most of us have something going on in our lives at any given time. On the other hand, another friend whom I never suspected would give me support came over week after week to visit. He still periodically does. As for family, my mom has been my rock, my angel! She took me in after I left in-patient rehab and took care of me on top of her full-time job as a university professor. She’s 77 years old and still working, but she found the time to be my caregiver. At her age, she shouldn’t have to be working, and I should be caring for her. Because I am still not ready to live on my own, I am still living with her. But my ordeal has strengthened our relationship. In spite of the pain we have endured, we have had a lot of belly laughs. Laughter is so good for the soul, and we have had some real soulful moments. Her story is in the “caregiver” chapter in my book Radiant Survivor.

———-

I hope you enjoyed this interview with Erica Tucci and that you’ll check out her book Radiant Survivor at http://www.radiantsurvivor.com/book-launch/pages/pre-launch.php

Here Are Two Reasons Why You Should:

Reason 1: FREE 3-DAY EVENT

Radiant Survivor Telesummit November 12th through 14th, 2013

Finding Our Inner Strength! Tuesday November 12th, 2013: 12 – 1:30pm PST

The Emotional Journey of Recovery Wednesday November 13th, 2013: 12 – 1:30pm PST

Spiritual Surrender and Letting Go Thursday November 14th, 2013: 12 – 1:30pm PST

When you visit the page at the above link and request a “launch reminder”, you will automatically receive a FREE pass to Erica’s 3-day “Radiant Survivor Telesummit” which runs from November 12th through 14th, 2013, with a panel of 11 world-renowned experts on recovery and transformation. You can listen to the telesummit online in the comfort of your own home, and even ask questions during the broadcast.

Guests Include:

• Erica Tucci – Life Coach; Reiki Master; stroke survivor; author of Radiant Survivor: How to Shine and Thrive through Recovery from Stroke, Cancer, Abuse, Addiction and Other Life-Altering Experiences
  
• Lynn Serafinn – Coach; marketer; author of The 7 Graces of Marketing
• Bernie Siegel MD – World-renowned surgeon; author of A Book of Miracles and The Art of Healing
• Allison Maslan – Entrepreneur; author of Blast-Off!
  
• Barbara Techel – Speaker; author of Through Frankie’s Eyes; contributing author for Radiant Survivor
• Sue Frederick – Author of Bridges to Heaven, I See Your Dream Job, and I See Your Soul
  
• Deb Scott – Author of The Sky is Green and The Grass is Blue; host of “The Best People We Know Show”
• Delanie Stephenson – Stroke survivor; author The Calm before the Storm; Online Ambassador for the American Stroke Association
• Mal Duane – Alcoholism survivor; certified Life Recovery Coach; author of Alpha Chick
• Suzanne Rose Lubkowski – Energy healer; intuitive Life Coach; contributing author for Radiant Survivor
• Callie Carling – Cancer survivor; Laughter Yoga teacher; creativity coach; contributing author for Radiant Survivor

This telesummit is a completely free “no purchase necessary” gift from Erica

To register or for more info, go to

http://radiantsurvivor.com/book-launch/pages/telesummit.php

Reason 2: FREE GIFTS

When you buy Erica’s book on Tuesday November 19, 2013, you can receive the MP3 downloads of all 3 days of the inspiring Radiant Survivor Telesummit, plus a complete library of beautiful personal development gifts from authors, speakers, coaches and other enlightened professionals from around the globe.

To claim your FREE pass to the Radiant Survivor Telesummit

and read about the free gifts, go to:

http://www.radiantsurvivor.com/book-launch/pages/pre-launch.php

Thanks for reading! Please share your comments and thoughts below. We love reading your feedback.

AND…be sure to follow Erica tomorrow when the next stop on her Virtual Blog Tour is Shawngela Pierce, who will be interviewing Erica on living in the moment, gratitude and her pearls of wisdom for others. To visit that “stop” on the tour, go to http://www.seekwithinyou.com/blog-2/98-healing.

Buddy’s Disease has never been a real diagnosis.  In fact, it’s not anything.  It does not exist outside of this bizarre form of censorship that I think everyone raised an eyebrow at.  For me, the removal of the words Tourette Syndrome implied that Tourette’s was in fact the obscenity that needed censoring and, therefore, it was something to be ashamed of.  Furthermore, calling it a disease made it sound like something contagious.  And I’d like to know whose bright idea it was to call it the idiotic ‘wholesome’ Buddy’s Disease.  I’m still not sure if they did this because they thought the topic was risqué or if they were worried about offending people who actually had Tourette’s.

The first time I saw that movie was in 1991 – coincidentally, the same year I was diagnosed with Tourette’s myself.  It was a dark secret that even I wasn’t expected to understand.  And I don’t think the media were comfortable with exposing it to the public.

Jump ahead to 2007 when the Le Petit Tourette episode of South Park first aired on television.  South Park…featuring Tourette’s?  Surely, that must be offensive!  One of my friends confessed that the whole time he was laughing at the episode, he felt guilty and worried I would be upset over it.  I surprised him: I had laughed too.  In fact, to this day I can’t think about certain lines from that show without choking with laughter.  And at least amongst the Tourettics I know, all of them who happened to like South Park also found it funny.  I would venture to say that, on the whole, the only people who really found it offensive were those who found South Park offensive in general.

In fact, even the Tourette Syndrome Association admitted that the creators of the show had done their research.  Yes, it was a great vehicle to throw as much foul language into a show as possible, but…the writers also took the time to open people’s eyes to the seriousness of the condition.  The more respectable character Kyle insists on the wrongness of mocking or mimicking real Tourette’s sufferers.  There is a scene where he sits through a group therapy session for Tourette’s patients and the patients explain the variety of tics they have.  I found myself watching open-mouthed because I have personally said many of the things those animated patients told Kyle.  ‘Most people say they don’t even notice’ – said while blinking furiously, snapping fingers and going Ding!  Sound familiar to anyone?

The show in no way glorified Tourette’s.  It wasn’t a scandalous exploitation documentary intended to shock and dismay.  It actually went beyond the stereotypes and taught people a little bit about a serious subject…but it made a lot of people laugh in the process.  Most importantly, it made me laugh at myself.  This was not accomplished by What About Bob?  South Park may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but the fact is: we have come a long way.

Was something happening in our global consciousness in 2007?  Because that happens to be the same year that The Big Bang Theory premiered on television.

I did some searching online for people’s views on the character of Dr Sheldon Cooper, as I felt certain he would have caused some controversy.  For anyone who doesn’t know, Sheldon very obviously has Asperger’s Syndrome (although the writers have refrained from ever stating this outright, so as not to turn the programme into a laugh-fest at something people can’t help), is asexual, and suffers from extreme Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.  As with South Park, I think the writers must be doing some heavy research, because I regularly relate to Sheldon.  In fact, my husband and I often point out each other’s Sheldon-isms.  We think they’re sweet.

I was surprised to find that most people were more bothered by the stereotypical nerd angle to the show than anything else (which I will confess hadn’t even crossed my mind, because I do know people like that, and I’ll just admit it right now: I actually cried when Data died in Star Trek: Nemesis).

Within the autistic world (of which I am part), it seems a great many of us approve of having such a character on mainstream television.  Why?  Because at last we’ve moved beyond Rain Man!  Sheldon is eccentric.  Sheldon is frustrating.  Sheldon is often embarrassing.  But Sheldon has friends, he has a stable job, he even finds a girlfriend as ‘different’ as himself – Sheldon has a life.  Which is something I was been led to believe over the years is not possible for autistics.  The actor Jim Parsons himself has expressed the view that Sheldon accepted his differences a long time ago and takes pride in them, used them to get where he is in life, and is treating his assimilation into ‘normal society’ as a sort of scientific experiment.  Sometimes, he surprises himself by relating to the ‘ordinary’ people around him.

The important point is: Sheldon is not someone you feel sorry for.  Like many of us, he sometimes feels frustrated at being different from most people around him – but only because he wishes more people were as gifted as him.  He never thinks of himself as the odd one.  And why should he when we can see that everyone around him is just as ‘special’ in their own way, even the so-called girl-next-door?  Sheldon is never diagnosed or expected to take medication to change who he is.  And most importantly, he’s not crazy – his mother had him tested.

What fascinates me is that some autistics seem to have a problem with laughing at Sheldon’s OCD – because it’s something people ‘suffer’ from, a true discomfort and anxiety and therefore not a respectful subject for humour.  Well I have OCD too, and every time Sheldon knocks three times on the door I laugh…sympathetically.  I find it endearing.  I think there is an element of laughing with the character, because while not everyone has OCD, everyone does have some little neurosis, some ritual, some degree of irrationality hardwired into our brains.

Rain Man was released in 1988.  What About Bob? Came out in 1991.  It is now the end of 2012.  That means it has been 24 years since Rain Man and 21 years since Bob.  Between the two, it’s been about 22.3 years, and (forgiving this further allusion to South Park) that means it’s time we started being able to laugh at these things.

Why do we need to take our diagnoses so seriously all the time?  There is a time and place for everything.  Sometimes it’s right to be serious.  Sometimes we need people to understand that we are in pain and need help.  But other times, we need to stop dwelling on that pain and just try to enjoy life!  If all we do is concentrate on the grief, we will ruin ourselves.  We will miss all our inner beauty lying alongside the darkness.  We will miss all the good things that surround us.  I say laughter is the best medicine.  When we take our anxieties too seriously, we give them the power to take over our lives.  When we learn to see the absurdity in them, they lose a little of that power, and that’s the first step to overcoming them.

These television shows are waking up the public to diagnoses I was once given without explanation, to hold inside like a terrible secret I should be ashamed of.  They have either made it acceptable to open up about these things or they are a reflection of a shift in our society.  A shift for the better.  In a world with characters like Sheldon Cooper, being autistic is a bit like being American or English or Spanish.  It’s like a citizenship.  It’s not automatically a disease.  And it doesn’t mean you’re crazy.  But it does mean that sometimes you run into people who don’t speak your language, and that’s when the chaos starts.

And it turns out the humour lies in that chaos.  Rather than reject it on the grounds that it’s ‘offensive’, why not embrace the change in perspective?  Not everyone is going to go out and read a book about the reality of a neurological condition.  But whole nations will watch a popular extremist television programme.  Why not let the world peek into our lives in whatever way they can, until before anyone realises what’s happened, we have a society that accepts these diagnoses without judgment?  Why not accept ourselves?

In 1991, watching that film scene while consumed with unjustified shame, I could not have predicted how far we would have come in 22 years.  Perhaps the medical system still hasn’t improved much, but when I see these ‘outrageous’ TV shows that never would have been allowed when I was a child, back in the days when Tourette’s was a dirty word, it does leave me wondering: where will we be in 2024?

Hopefully, somewhere good.

]]> http://conditionalpublications.com/2012/10/17/weve-come-a-long-way-baby/feed/ 2 http://conditionalpublications.com/2012/10/10/system-has-to-change/ http://conditionalpublications.com/2012/10/10/system-has-to-change/#comments Wed, 10 Oct 2012 09:13:58 +0000 http://conditionalpublications.com/?p=1741 How many parents out there can relate to this?  The following is a genuine complaint letter written by a parent to a hospital in connection with desperate attempts to get in-school support for a child. All names have been changed.

Dear Sirs

I wish to make a formal complaint about the lack of service my son has received from the Child Development Centre.

We have been struggling to get some form of medical intervention for our son John for the last two years. We initially spoke to the GP, who advised we would need to go through the school, who would make the appropriate referrals. Nothing happened with John’s previous school and his difficulties continued not to be addressed, while John’s self-esteem plummeted and he was branded ‘naughty’, despite a long-running family history of neurological conditions such as ADHD and Autism.

We switched his school in late 2011 and finally referrals were made, following a three-day exclusion from school in July 2012 when John was only six years old. We were eventually offered an appointment with Dr X at the Child Development Centre for 9am on 17th September.

On Friday, 31st August, we received a letter after work stating that this appointment had been cancelled and rearranged for 12pm on Wednesday, 5th September. I called on Monday, 3rd September and spoke to the receptionist, Mary, at that time to advise that this appointment was impossible for us because:

1) My husband and I only had 2 days to provide our respective employers with notice that we would need to take time off work, which is not allowed by either of our workplaces (we are required to provide at least a week’s notice for time off)

2) I work in London, and the appointment time meant I would need to take a whole day off work to make the appointment, which would particularly not be acceptable at my office with only 2 days’ notice – not to mention it would eat up my remaining 2 days of holiday time for the year, which inevitably will need to be used for other school events, and would need to be used if John had another incident and required home time during the term

3) My husband works in a care home and to book holiday there requires shifting the schedules of every other worker there

4) To top it off, 5th September was our son’s very first day back at school with a brand new teacher in a new year – bearing in mind that his difficulties surround school, it would be unacceptable to take John out of school on the first day

We were then offered an appointment for 9th October at 10am. I received a voicemail on my mobile phone at 5.08pm on 8th October to notify us that the appointment had been cancelled for the outrageous reason that, after four weeks, Dr X only just realised the appointment time allotted was not long enough for an initial consultation – Dr X wants to see John for an hour but only a half hour was booked into the diary.

There are not words for how unacceptable this is – particularly bearing in mind that one of the things my son is being assessed for is organisational skills! Is the irony lost on everyone there?

I called and spoke to Mary at 9am today to get this dealt with. I was told I would be telephoned back in the next two hours. I had to call back at 12.30pm to find out what was happening. I was told a manager would need to speak to me, which I agreed I wanted. I was called again by Mary around 1.30pm, being offered an appointment time this Thursday at 12pm.

Now, we have been here before. I explained for perhaps the fourth time that we cannot make such an appointment time, particularly with 2 days’ notice. When I explained again that this is the second time the appointment has been cancelled, I was told that no, it was the first because on the first occasion, apparently the notes had been taken down as ‘cancelled by the parent’. No – I turned down the unacceptable offer of an appointment that was made to replace another appointment that Dr X cancelled. I, the parent, never cancelled our initial appointment. (This was later agreed upon with Sarah, in total contradiction of what Mary told me).

I was also told this new 12pm appointment time is after Dr X finishes her clinic, i.e. after-hours. I said we need the appointment in the morning and was told Dr X only starts the appointments at 10am. If I began my work day at 10am, I would have simply called yesterday to let the parent know that the appointment had to be moved a half-hour earlier and I would have come into work early, because it would be my own fault for not bothering to check the diary in the last 4 weeks and spot the problem. I would also bend over backwards to make up for the mistake. I’ve been told apparently Dr X is going out of her way for us – but this is not true if I’ve stated so many times that we cannot do a 12pm appointment and no one will offer us a morning slot.

Mary rang me again to say the only appointment being offered was 12pm and Dr X will not see us before 10am. I work from 7.45am to 5.30pm each day – I have little sympathy for a doctor who cannot be more flexible in order to correct her own mistake. Furthermore, I am appalled at the way Mary asked me to confirm if I was rejecting the newly offered appointment time, in a way that suggested I’m the one being difficult when I have explained time and time again why we cannot have that appointment time, and after we have been treated so disgracefully for the last two months.

Mary repeatedly said I would need to speak to a manager and offered to have the manager call me directly. However, this took hours to actually happen. I asked how to make a formal complaint and was told again that I would need to ask the manager. Mary even acknowledged that she had just spoken to the manager herself, and yet the manager was not available to speak to me. I can’t help but feel I was fobbed off since 9am by one person after another. Mary also insisted that she could not tell me how to make a complaint. She then told me that I was being unfair to her by being so angry when none of this was her fault (despite the fact that when I did speak to the manager, Sarah, I was told it was the fault of the person who made the original appointment…who happens to be Mary).

I worked as a receptionist for years, and if I had ever taken a call from someone in my position who was as (rightfully) upset as I am, I would have had someone in charge speak to the caller hours ago. I would have actually tried to find a solution to the problem.

The icing on the cake is that at the end of the conversation, Mary simply talked over me to say she was going and hung up the phone on me! (Sarah said Mary had a different angle on the conversation – I’m not surprised.)

I was later finally telephoned by Sarah at the Hospital and told:

1) The diary mishap is not the doctor’s fault, it’s an administrative error (despite Mary in the morning telling me she only found out about it herself this morning and it was down to the doctor).

2) That contrary to my suggestion, administration does not represent the doctor in any way and you should not be viewed as a team the way that at my office, if one member of staff made such a mistake, it would damage the image of the whole company. I would like you to understand that I don’t care who is ultimately to blame for this situation – you are all incriminated in it and no one has handled this properly.

3) That the doctor would not have known about the appointment time issue because ‘it doesn’t work like that; the doctors don’t regularly check their schedules’. It goes without saying that there is absolutely no excuse for this, and I am shocked at the admission of such irresponsibility.

4) That ‘now that we know the reason you can’t make an afternoon appointment, we can try to arrange something else’, despite me telling Mary the reasons we could not make these appointment times over and over and over again, beginning with our original conversation in September.

Sarah also at last gave me the address to write to with a formal complaint. It was as simple as an address. How was Mary unable to provide me with this information?

For all you know, by this point John has been thrown out of school. You have no idea what’s been happening with him, your system is chaos, and it has been made abundantly clear that no one there actually cares about my child’s wellbeing. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do to get John the support he needs, short of winning the lottery and quitting my job to teach him myself, which is clearly not happening any time soon. I don’t know what I pay my taxes for when I’ve been fighting for 2 years to get John even this far in the system.

The most frustrating thing is that this complaint is effectively worthless, because who do you actually answer to? There is no direct organisation to complain to, short of writing to my MP and contacting the newspapers (which I’m probably going to do) – what does it matter to you if I’m this upset? At my company, if we made a huge mistake and the client called up to complain about it, if we fobbed them off for hours, denied culpability, refused to comply with the client’s needs even though we could physically make arrangements to comply, refused to let someone in charge speak to them to deal with the situation and then hung up on them, we would lose money, our reputation would be tarnished and the company would suffer. We would never get away with such practice. Why is it then somehow okay for the NHS to behave this way, regarding our children?

If anyone has the audacity to wonder why I’m so angry, or suggest that I shouldn’t be, as it was suggested by Mary on the phone today, I would ask you all to remember that it is a SIX-YEAR-OLD who loses out in this, and that is 100% your fault. Child Development, indeed. I cannot believe my child’s future is in the hands of such a shambolic impersonal operation, as if it is somehow representative of stability and healthy interpersonal skills.

Yours faithfully

Distressed Parent

]]> http://conditionalpublications.com/2012/10/10/system-has-to-change/feed/ 1 http://conditionalpublications.com/2012/02/13/ocdtourettesadhdautismbipolarepilepsy-show-your-support-with-rubber-bracelets/ http://conditionalpublications.com/2012/02/13/ocdtourettesadhdautismbipolarepilepsy-show-your-support-with-rubber-bracelets/#comments Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:54:09 +0000 http://conditionalpublications.com/?p=882 We are very proud to announce that Conditional Publications has now launched its very own awareness-raising rubber bracelets.  Please visit our SHOP for more details.

All orders will receive a FREE Conditional Publications bookmark to keep your place while you’re reading Check Mates: OCD Fiction, Poetry & Artwork or any of our upcoming titles.

Conditional Publications: OUR STORIES – OUR WORDS

The article stated that there are many doctors up in arms over the UK’s decision, claiming this law basically says ‘quacks’ are okay.  A conflicting viewpoint was put across that really it ought to be the patient’s choice which sort of treatment they take, either herbal or pharmaceutical.  The article also noted that one such herbal remedy under contention is St John’s Wort, as used in the treatment of depression.

I think the key here is ‘choice’.  Last I checked, the US and UK supposedly invaded the Middle East under the pretense of bringing ‘democracy’, yes?  And I appreciate that a little government intervention is necessary from time to time, but when it comes to our health, shouldn’t it be up to us what we put in our bodies?

Example 1:

Many of my good friends have neurological conditions.  One such friend was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder a couple years ago.  He tried prescribed medications for a while, but they only seemed to make him worse, so he stopped, and started exploring his options.  He struck upon a vitamin regime that did not cure his symptoms, but it did improve things greatly for him.  Unfortunately, by that point so much damage had already been done at his job, due to his condition going undiagnosed for so long and due to his colleagues being small-minded and not accepting / understanding him once the diagnosis was made.  My friend has been severely bullied at work for a long time now, and the abuse built up to a point where he just couldn’t handle it anymore.  He felt so low, he went back to the doctor, and in his vulnerable state, he agreed to try a new prescription.

He went on a course of Sertroline (Zoloft in the States) – something I took myself, many years ago, and which had greatly detrimental affects on my mental health.  In my experience, I was a guinea pig for this ‘miracle drug’, and when things went wrong, the doctors were suddenly uncontactable.  In my friend’s case,  he sank lower and lower over a period of six weeks, until one morning his partner found him slicing open his own wrists.  Thank God my friend does not live alone, else he would have died.  Instead, though, he was rushed to hospital and saved.

One could argue he was depressed anyway, so how can you say this was caused by the drug?  Except my friend has never been suicidal before – and if you look around the internet, you will see there are several class action suits being filed in connection with this and other such drugs due to unprecedented violent acts on the part of patients taking these prescriptions – and when I was taking the drug myself, after sinking into a suicidal state unlike anything I’d ever experienced before (not to mention developing schizophrenic symptoms), I read in the list of side effects contained in the medication box that this ‘anti-depressant’ and ‘anti-anxiety’ tablet could, in fact, cause ‘anxiety’ and ‘suicidal ideation’.

The day before my friend started self-harming, he had gone to see his doctor again and told him how depressed he was feeling since taking the drug.  The doctor’s reply was to increase the dosage!  And might I add that never was there any suggestion to see a psychologist who could help him work through his pain, even alongside the medication.  This, too, has been my own experience: unless I begged for a psychologist and absolutely insisted upon it, it was not given to me.

I’m not saying the drugs don’t work for everyone.  But I have spoken to many fellow diagnosees (if there is such a word!), read many books on these subjects, and have tried a variety of medications myself.  The general consensus seems to be that for some people these medications work – for others, it is helpful to take the drugs on a short-term basis alongside some other form of psychological therapy, so that they feel a boost in spirits and clarity to enable them to focus on the therapy and learn the long-term techniques to help themselves.  For others still (myself included), the drugs do not have any affect on the actual condition, but they do induce a lot of nasty side effects.

Another point to mention is that I believe we focus so much on the diagnosis, we forget about the ‘little’ things, like sleep and diet.  For instance, I have started on a vitamin regime (similar to my friend’s) that has meant at long last, I sleep at night and I wake up refreshed.  This has in no way cured my symptoms – but just getting that sleep has de-stressed my body and mind so much, my symptoms have become much more bearable.  I also tried a year of talking therapy and discovered that much of the pain and volatility within me was due to experience, not the diagnosed conditions themselves.  Through this therapy, much of my frustration and unhappiness was healed.

The point is: it should be our choice.  I don’t know about you, but I do not want to live in a nation governed by people who decide what we’re allowed to put into our bodies in the name of health.  There is a reason these chemical compounds are called ‘drugs’ – they have the potential to be dangerous, depending on who takes them and for how long.

I think people often view doctors as all-knowing, but it’s so important that we step back and remember the human body is not a machine.  You can’t call up Tech Support when something goes wrong, have them run a few diagnostic checks and come out with a foolproof solution.

Example:

Just last year I developed some kind of infection that required antibiotics.  I was given a basic prescription, and within 15 minutes of taking the drug as prescribed, my temperature shot up to 105F, I lost feeling in the right side of my body and my chest started seizing up.  I was in absolute terror.  My husband threw warm wet flannels over me to bring down the temperature, and slowly I came back to health.  We spoke to a nurse who said it was a result of the drug, because apparently you shouldn’t take that particular pill if you have neurological conditions – which no one bothered to check when giving the prescription.  I spoke to a doctor who prescribed a new drug and his response was, ‘There’s nothing wrong with the antibiotic – that should not have happened to you.’  Yes, but it did happen.  But he just kept saying, ‘It shouldn’t have.’

Doctors do not have all the answers, despite how advanced they are.  They particularly do not have all the answers when it comes to the brain.  I would also argue there is a huge issue of spirit involved, when delving into matters of the psyche, i.e. some scientists believe everything is down to chemical reactions, and others believe there’s something more to it, something beyond the body.  There’s no way to prove it either way.

So do I think the UK government has just said it’s okay for ‘quacks’ to practise in our nation?  No.  I believe they just reaffirmed our right to choose – which is just how things should be in a so-called democracy.

I just pray we keep it that way.

Vrinda Pendred

Editor & Founder

]]> http://conditionalpublications.com/2011/02/23/herbal-or-pharmaceutical-your-choice/feed/ 1 http://conditionalpublications.com/2011/01/24/neuro-atypical-we-are-all-x-men/ http://conditionalpublications.com/2011/01/24/neuro-atypical-we-are-all-x-men/#comments Mon, 24 Jan 2011 20:24:37 +0000 http://conditionalpublications.com/?p=444 Okay, who watched X-Men 3: The Last Stand and felt like, in many ways, it was the story of their life?  Not with me?  Let me explain.

In a nutshell: the authorities have discovered a new drug to ‘cure’ the mutants of their ‘abnormalities’.  Mutants queue up in the thousands to receive this ‘cure’, but Magneto does everything in his power to sabotage it.  Magneto believes the mutants are special for their ‘unnatural’ abilities.  He thinks they should revel in their differences.  He takes this view to the extremes, sadly…but each time I’ve watched the film, I couldn’t help thinking how much it was like the struggle of living with a neurological condition.

There are ‘cures’ out there, and they are unarguably a godsend for people who can’t function in life without them…but for those of us who – if properly motivated – could find alternative means of dealing with these conditions…do we need a ‘cure’?  Are we that damaged, or do we just have different types of brains that lead to different thinking styles, different ways of feeling and responding, different abilities (just like everyone in the world, really)?

They called it ‘The Last Stand’ – I know where I stand on these issues, but where do you?

I suppose I’m a bit more like Professor Xavier: I believe in allowing the ‘mutants’ to make up their own minds on this subject, rather than tricking and bludgeoning them into agreeing with my perspective, as Magneto did.  But for what it’s worth, I like to think that there are darker sides to these conditions that we should fight.  It’s wrong to sink into them until they consume us and we lose ourselves.  That is illness.  Some people can’t help falling prey to this illness, because their brains won’t allow it, and I appreciate they need the drugs.

But for the rest of us, perhaps we’re overmedicating – and not just with prescriptions.  Perhaps we spend too much time feeling shameful about our brains being a little bit different, and we forget that all brains are different, that there is no such thing as a normal brain.  Perhaps we forget that our brains have made us who we are, through chemicals, neurons and the life experience they have given to us.  Do we really hate ourselves so much that we’d risk losing our personalities (those drugs are definitely mind-altering – I speak from experience) just to remove symptoms that are often only so bad because others around us don’t accept them?

I have said for years that if the world accepted our differences, we could find a way to live comfortably enough with a vast proportion of our symptoms.  This was the inspiration behind my story The Royal Bank of Scotland.  To add to that story, perhaps in such an acceptant world, we would also feel less afraid to seek help for the symptoms that aren’t so easy to manage, because there would be less stigma involved.

What do you think? Vrinda Pendred Editor & Founder

The Royal Bank of Scotland can be found in Check Mates: A Collection of Fiction, Poetry & Artwork about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, by People with OCD, available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

Click below to order Check Mates now

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This upset me on so many levels.  Apart from the obvious, I was shocked that someone could actually recognise it as a ‘disease’ and yet still call it ‘funny’.  Is this what we’re teaching children these days?  To laugh at illness?  When you see someone dying of cancer, is that now the subject of comedy and ridicule?  When someone loses their legs in a terrible accident, is it somehow alright to point and laugh?

Against my better instincts, I felt moved to reply – but of course if I could change this person’s mind, they probably wouldn’t be writing such hateful comments in the first place.  In fact, they went so far as to say that they highly doubted I have Tourette’s myself and am in fact jobless and sponging off the government.  It was…interesting.

What shocked me further was that I looked at this person’s profile and he’s 30!

There are 2 points to this anecdote: 1) I took the time to flag the video as inappropriate for hateful / abusive content – I strongly urge you all to do the same, if you ever come across videos like this on ANY subject, and 2) I finally responded to him by pointing him in the direction of our book, suggesting he might learn something from it.

I just want to remind people that THIS is why Conditional Publications was founded.  It’s not about selling books – I promise you we’re all making next to nothing off Check Mates.  Much of the profits are going to OCD charities, and much of the money I’ve taken from it is being sunk into the next book, covering schizo-affective disorder.

Check Mates was written to offer comfort to those suffering in silence, to give a voice to a handful who were ready to come out and speak about what OCD is really like…and to get the truth out there, in a bid to start stamping out hateful prejudice against such conditions.  Please, please, please tell everyone you can about the book.

And if you’d like to flag that video as inappropriate, you can find it here.