The truth is, in my experience it is far easier to tackle more physical obsessions – checking, washing, etc. – than the overbearing thoughts.

For instance, I nearly ruined my Degree when I was in my third year of university, all because one day I was reading a Frederick Douglas story about a mouse that was shot up into space and I suddenly thought, ‘That poor mouse, he was just living his life and then bam!  It was over, without warning or understanding of what had happened.’  That was it – I literally did not sleep for the next 5 days, screwed up a paper I was meant to write, and I spent the next several months interrogating anyone I spoke to about their views on the afterlife.  Every time the lights went out at night, I could not get my mind to shut up with thoughts of death.  It drove a chill right through me, sent me into panic attacks, forced me into tears and terror.

There have been many such kinds of thoughts (referred to as ‘obsessive ruminations’ in the psychology world) – particularly after my son was born a few years ago.  He was so helpless and I was so overcome by my new godlike responsibilities, I became panic-stricken that I might accidentally hurt him, to the point where eventually I was convinced I would hurt him, that perhaps the obsession would drive me to hurt him, just to make the thoughts go away.  I felt incapable of looking after him safely and wished he were older and more self-reliant.  Now, looking back, I regret how little I savoured his baby time.  It will never come back.

So how do we get past these thoughts?  It’s all about fear exposure.  In my time with a therapist, and in all the books I’ve read on the subject, it seems the general consensus is to do bizarre ‘numbing’ exercises, such as writing out your worst fears in all their gory detail – then recording yourself reading it aloud and playing back the recording again and again until you stop reacting to it emotionally.

I scoffed at this when my therapist first suggested it, 10 years ago.  However, I’ve wound up doing just as she described, without even realising I was doing it.  I happen to be a huge Stephen King fan, and he always says in his introductions that he writes out all his worst fears.  He’s admirable in that he never seems to shy away from the most awful details of these fears.  Instead, he draws them out vividly and some of them are literally painful to read.  Anyone who’s ever tried to get through ‘Pet Sematary’ or his short story ‘The Ledge’ must know what I mean here.

To take ‘Pet Sematary’ as an example: this is a book that centres on the death of a child, and the parental desperation to get that child back.  The pivotal moment in the book was one of the hardest things I have ever gotten through.  I struggled and I cried all the way – and I don’t mean just cried, I mean bawled almost hysterically for about 40 pages, and then kept replaying it in my head over and over for the next few weeks and bawling then, too.

And you know what the craziest thing was?  I GOT OVER IT.  Eventually I reached a point where the emotion wore off enough for me to remember…it’s JUST A THOUGHT.  It’s not real!  And thinking about it will NOT MAKE IT COME TRUE.

It’s basic fear exposure, when you get down to it.  How you choose to do it is up to you.  Again, I would recommend reading a book such as ‘Brain Lock’ or ‘Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts’ before you tackle this, and it would be helpful to have some kind of outside support (friend, family, OCD survivor) – but now you know the basic principal behind the method.

Next time, I’m going to talk about fear and the power of the mind, so be sure to subscribe to the blog so you don’t miss it.

Click below to order Check Mates, the first ever collection of fiction poetry and artwork about OCD

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It’s obvious why this is fascinating, but it also demonstrates the likelihood that the old ‘nature vs nurture’ debate is irrelevant – instead, the body interacts with the environment and we are shaped by the combination.

It’s also encouraging news to those of us who suffer from mood disorders.  Perhaps it really is within our power to get some element of control over ourselves by first getting control of our physical aspect – next time we feel ourselves sinking into depression, for instance, maybe the physical act of smiling would slowly affect us on the inside.  Could be nonsense, but it also could be a real possibility – anyone ready to try the ‘fake it until you make it’ experiment with me?

Vrinda Pendred
Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

Included in the proposal is the combination of all autistic disorders into one single entry for Autistic Spectrum Disorders – as well as the consolidation of certain psychotic conditions, and a new category for Psychosis Risk, intended to help treat patients earlier rather than once the problems have overtaken them.  There will be rules enstated in order to prevent overdiagnosis…so they say.

I happen to think in some ways this is a step in the right direction, because the DSM was becoming cluttered with 1,001 different disorders when many of them seem to be aspects of the same few things.  Having a risk category could possibly be useful, too – particularly for people who are trying to understand extra symptoms they may have without having a full-blown condition.

The obvious worry, though,  is that doctors may distort this and start prescribing drugs to people who really don’t need them and can get on fine in life without them.  It’s possible that we don’t need a new diagnosis for such things, but rather more public awareness of the truth that most people probably share some of these symptoms without even thinking about it.

They are also proposing to revamp the whole personality disorders section.  Reading their suggested amendments, it seems a good move.  It feels clearer and less extreme, allowing room for the notion that people with such conditions are human, like anyone else – fancy that!

You can read more about the changes in the Scientific American article, and whatever your view on the matter, please do get involved here.

Vrinda Pendred
Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

The book is now listed on Amazon, in preparation for its official release on 11 May.

If you’re in the UK, you can pre-order it now, by clicking on this link: http://ow.ly/11jvV

If you’re in the US, it does not seem to be available for pre-order yet, but you can sign up to be notified when the book becomes available, by clicking here: http://ow.ly/11jyw and clicking the ‘sign up’ button on the right-hand side of the page.

The price on Amazon.co.uk is currently £14.95, but this will go down nearer the release date.  In the US, the RRP will be $16.95, but again, Amazon will be selling it for cheaper!!

Look around and you’ll find that usually such books are either medical or autobiographical accounts of the subject – which makes ‘Check Mates’ truly unique.

It has been kindly endorsed by OCD author Jeff Bell, OCDTribe.com and OCD-UK (the leading national UK charity for the condition).

OCD-UK also published an extract from one of my own contributions to the collection, ‘The Royal Bank of Scotland’, in their members magazine back in October 2008.  A portion of all profits from the sale of the book will be going to this and other OCD charities.

The aim of the project is to help others struggling with the condition realise they’re not alone and they’re not strange for it – they don’t need to feel ashamed or suffer in silence.

We also want to make people aware of the truth behind the stereotypes of this often disabling condition.  OCD seems to have taken on a ‘trendy’ persona these days, due to people like Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz coming out with their condition.  While we love that more people are recognising this condition and becoming aware of it, there still seems to be a definite lack of understanding of how deep it goes.  It’s not just about counting and handwashing – there are dark, intrusive thoughts that go with it, thoughts that permeate every aspect of existence and can often be severely disabling – and yet, there is still always hope.

And don’t forget – we have a social network, http://conditionalpublications.ning.com, we’re on Twitter as ‘NeuroBooks’ and be sure to join the Conditional Publications fan page on Facebook!

In time, we hope ‘Check Mates’ will touch people’s lives and that this venture will build up into the important niche publishing house we believe it can become.

I proudly present ‘Our Daily Meds’ by Melody Peterson.  This book exposes all the pharmaceutical industry horror stories I’m sure many of us are aware of, but in graphic detail we often turn a blind eye to because, well, it’s terrifying.

I heard about this on Madness Radio, when they interviewed the author – it seems an invluable book to look at, if we ever hope to overcome the pharmaceutical grip on today’s Western approach to health.  For more information, view the book on Amazon, or try listening to the interview on Madness Radio – a free podcast accessible via iTunes.

Vrinda Pendred
Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

It discusses the much debated theory that conditions such as Tourette’s, OCD, Autism and ADHD are the result of autoimmune responses to strep infections in childhood. The theory goes that symptoms of such disorders are the result of an overactive immune response to the strep bacteria (presumably due to a genetic predisoposition).  Joining up the dots, I would say this holds some weight, considering how many people with such disorders seem to have a number of allergies – another overactive autoimmune response.

Mady Hornig at Columbia University is working with the original PANDAS (Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal infections) theorist, Susan Swedo, to carry out rigorous testing into this idea.  In recent research, they have begun injecting mice with strep bacteria and have learned they can induce anxiety and tics this way.  However, luckily they are looking into ways to apply this knowledge other than dosing us all up with Penicillin.

Vrinda Pendred
Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

OCD Week (6th – 13th February 2010) is a week of engaging, informing and inspiring events for people affected by OCD. We will be running a series of on-line seminars, a host of awareness raising events and two major conferences; London (6th Feb) and Manchester (13th Feb).

For more information visit http://www.ocdweek.org or call the OCD Action office on 0207 253 5272

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