Beyond this, I thought it important to inject the perspective of the ‘mental health’ patient.  How many people can relate to this?:

Most of my neurological difficulties were diagnosed far too late in life, despite seeing ‘professionals’ numerous times before; I was given a cocktail of drugs that seemed to cause more harm than good; when I complained about the side effects, there was a serious lack of support or understanding; when I finally saw a proper therapist whom I felt I could speak to freely, I was informed after a year that the NHS could no longer fund my talking therapy and I would have to go it on my own…even though at long last it seemed I had stumbled on what I was really looking for all those years: a safe place to let out all my frustrations about problems I cannot cure.

To take another example: when I was pregnant a few years ago, I experienced extreme ante-natal depression.  I regularly felt suicidal and would definitely consider myself to have been ‘at risk’, as they say.  Yet my NHS referral to be seen by a therapist took so long that I didn’t get the call until I’d already had the baby and my symptoms had eased up!

What’s even more frustrating is that I’m originally American, so my medical stories cross oceans and nationalities – it seems that no matter which country, there was little care being offered.

I don’t want to trash every doctor out there, because, as I stated, I did manage to see a very good therapist in the end, who showed me the support and understanding I so desperately needed.  She was a great relief to me, and I will always be grateful to her.  But I was limited in my sessions with her.  In America, the insurance companies do the same – it’s a miracle I got to see this doctor for as long as I did, so I suppose that’s one thing the NHS almost did right…but it’s still not good enough.

I realise the governments don’t have enough money to facilitate every aspect of our nations, but the priorities seem to be so wrong.  We lose money on education and health care, yet we spend it on wars the country vehemently protests – and we’re meant to believe we live in a democracy.  Furthermore, as the Standard rightly notes, soldiers are coming back from these wars with post-traumatic stress disorder, and we don’t have the facilities to give them the care they deserve.

I urge you to write to your MP (or congressman) and speak your mind about this gross atrocity. Perhaps it’s time to remind them that, ironically, they could do with getting their heads checked.

Vrinda Pendred, Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

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First, a little background information.  CBT is used not just for OCD or anxiety, but also depression.  In clinical studies, CBT has been shown to be just as effective as drugs (when they work) – except the results are longer lasting.  Why?  Because drugs treat symptoms but not the root of the problem, whereas CBT is all about changing how you think about things.

The basic principal behind OCD CBT is that while we believe our compulsions are going to ease the pain of the obsessions, the truth is: they’re FEEDING the obsessions.  The more we act on these compulsions, the more we reinforce the original anxiety/doubt/worry.  We’re essentially telling our fears that we believe they are very real and need to be dealt with – and this gives them power.

So, to take a personal example, I used to worry I hadn’t switched on my alarm clock before I went to bed and that I’d oversleep and be late for school.  If I managed to believe I’d switched it on, then I’d worry I’d set it for the wrong time.  This meant a seemingly endless ritual of checking and rechecking the alarm settings – then worrying that in the process of checking, I’d somehow accidentally changed the settings – and so on and so forth.

The trick was simply to NOT CHECK – and pardon my split infinitive there, but in this case ‘NOT CHECK’ really is the complete verb.  I feel a need to say this in order to emphasise the point: it is all about NOT CHECKING.

It has been proven, time and time again, that just at the point when you’ve resisted checking so long that you feel like you’re going to collapse from anxiety…right at the peak, if we were to plot anxiety on a graph…gradually that anxiety will start to drop, drop, drop – until it’s GONE.

Trust me.  I didn’t believe it either, but I’ve felt it happen so many times, you just have to trust my experience.  And if you want to CHECK…why not try it yourself?

But a word of caution: START SMALL!!  These anxieties are so overpowering, it would be dangerous to start with your biggest worries.  So don’t plunge right into the deep end and try to combat your ‘I’m terrified I might throw myself in front of a car’ fears.  For now, just concentrate on the little things – like my alarm clock issues.

Another note to add is that I won’t pretend CBT cures OCD.  The whole point of this condition is that it is medical and lifelong, with no known cure.  But does it provide tools with which to fight each new obsession as it comes along and make things manageable?  In my experience, yes, absolutely.

If you need any help or want to ask any questions, I (Vrinda) am happy to assist, as I really believe in CBT but know it’s a long, hard journey doing it alone.  Just click the ‘Contact’ tab at the top of the website.

If you would like a book to help you go through CBT and learn about it in more detail, check out ‘Brain Lock’ or ‘Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts’.

If you haven’t already, then be sure to subscribe to this blog to learn more insider experiences and information.

Vrinda Pendred

Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

Click below to order Check Mates, the first ever collection of fiction poetry and artwork about OCD

amazon.com amazon.co.uk amazon.ca

I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 13, but on reflection I can see the symptoms stretching right back to at least 5 years old.  I also have Tourette Syndrome (among other things), which I have read means chances are my obsessions are much more violent – and this is definitely the case.

I tried medications when I was 13-17, but they just made things worse for me.  I know everyone is different and reacts in a variety of ways to these drugs, but from all the people I’ve spoken to and all the books I’ve read…to quote The Verve, ‘the drugs don’t work’.  Perhaps for a minority of people they have effect – and I truly am glad for them.  OCD is no easy thing to deal with.  For the rest of us, the drug route can be painful and frustrating.

And for those of you who DO find help with medication, I would strongly urge you to try CBT anyway.  Use the drugs as a way of giving you the strength you need to start learning how to fight this battle – and perhaps one day you’ll be able to wean yourself off the medication and deal with these issues all on your own.

In recent years I have been known to tell people off if they try to offer me encouragement about some of my conditions.  I once told my husband I thought he ought to be prepared for the very real possibility that one day he may need to care for me quite a lot, because I may be quite crippled from my Tourette’s in old age.  He said he didn’t want me to think that negatively, and I understand where he was coming from.  I’m sure it was upsetting to hear me speak that way.  But I explained to him that I didn’t want the empty optimism anymore.  I had reached a point in life where I felt (and still feel, regarding Tourette’s at least) it’s best I just start accepting my lot and learning how to deal with it.

In short: the emotional rollercoaster of ‘yes, perhaps this at last will work’ and ‘it didn’t work, nothing works, why oh why is this my life?’ had worn me down.

But I DID receive help for the OCD!  I went through a year of Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy when I was 17, after I’d quit the last of the drugs.  I took the techniques taught to me by my therapist and put them into practise over the years.  Now, 10 years later, these skills have become second nature to me.  Perhaps I can’t conquer every problem that afflicts me…but who in the world can??  The important thing is: I regained control over this element of my life – and that has been enough to keep me going forward.

In the next blog, I will teach you how to apply CBT in your own life – so be sure to subscribe to our feed!

Vrinda Pendred

Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

Click below to order Check Mates, the first ever collection of fiction poetry and artwork about OCD

amazon.com amazon.co.uk amazon.ca

As the title suggests, OCD is made up of two parts: obsessions and compulsions.  Obsessions really mean doubts, worries, that little niggling ‘what if?’ at the back of all our minds.  What if the house catches on fire because I left that toaster plugged in?  What if I didn’t wash my hands properly and I end up with a horrible disease?  What if I didn’t lock the door and someone walks in on me in the toilet?

This is the sort of thing that gets published in the media.  What doesn’t get talked about so much are the really scary worries. What if I lost my memory? What if I hit that person?  What if I just started screaming right now and didn’t stop?  What if I hurt my child?  What if I jumped in front of that car?  What if I went insane?  What if the next time I go to sleep, I don’t wake up?

And then there are the more abstract, seemingly pointless worries.  Did I count the number of words in that sentence accurately?  Is that stack of books straight enough?  Have I organised all my CDs perfectly alphabetically?

Everyone is struck by obsessions as different points in their lives.  It is an illness to which no one is immune.  When it becomes a problem is when it starts to overtake other aspects of life, and suddenly all that seems important is the obsessions.

Compulsions are what we do, then, to counteract these obsessions.  If we’re afraid we might set the house on fire, we will check all electrical items are unplugged every time we leave the room.  If we’re scared of germs, we wash too often and too hard.  If we worry about amnesia, we spend all our time writing out journal accounts of even the most mundane points in our days.  If we’re terrified we might hurt our children, we pass care responsibilities over to someone else.  We realign, we clean, we check, we count, we struggle.

If none of this works, we try superstitions, such as tapping our fingers together three times as a way of warding off the evil we feel quite certain is to come, as a result of not completing the rituals we have become enslaved to.

This is the reality of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.  It’s not a joke.  It’s irrational and paranoid.  It’s time-consuming and life-destroying.  It’s disempowering.

But there IS hope.  There IS a way to take back some of that control and live again.  As someone who has lived all her life with OCD, I know what I’m talking about.

Vrinda Pendred
Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

Click below to order Check Mates, the first ever collection of fiction poetry and artwork about OCD

amazon.com amazon.co.uk amazon.ca

You can also listen to further episodes of the show with this player:

It’s obvious why this is fascinating, but it also demonstrates the likelihood that the old ‘nature vs nurture’ debate is irrelevant – instead, the body interacts with the environment and we are shaped by the combination.

It’s also encouraging news to those of us who suffer from mood disorders.  Perhaps it really is within our power to get some element of control over ourselves by first getting control of our physical aspect – next time we feel ourselves sinking into depression, for instance, maybe the physical act of smiling would slowly affect us on the inside.  Could be nonsense, but it also could be a real possibility – anyone ready to try the ‘fake it until you make it’ experiment with me?

Vrinda Pendred
Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

Included in the proposal is the combination of all autistic disorders into one single entry for Autistic Spectrum Disorders – as well as the consolidation of certain psychotic conditions, and a new category for Psychosis Risk, intended to help treat patients earlier rather than once the problems have overtaken them.  There will be rules enstated in order to prevent overdiagnosis…so they say.

I happen to think in some ways this is a step in the right direction, because the DSM was becoming cluttered with 1,001 different disorders when many of them seem to be aspects of the same few things.  Having a risk category could possibly be useful, too – particularly for people who are trying to understand extra symptoms they may have without having a full-blown condition.

The obvious worry, though,  is that doctors may distort this and start prescribing drugs to people who really don’t need them and can get on fine in life without them.  It’s possible that we don’t need a new diagnosis for such things, but rather more public awareness of the truth that most people probably share some of these symptoms without even thinking about it.

They are also proposing to revamp the whole personality disorders section.  Reading their suggested amendments, it seems a good move.  It feels clearer and less extreme, allowing room for the notion that people with such conditions are human, like anyone else – fancy that!

You can read more about the changes in the Scientific American article, and whatever your view on the matter, please do get involved here.

Vrinda Pendred
Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

I proudly present ‘Our Daily Meds’ by Melody Peterson.  This book exposes all the pharmaceutical industry horror stories I’m sure many of us are aware of, but in graphic detail we often turn a blind eye to because, well, it’s terrifying.

I heard about this on Madness Radio, when they interviewed the author – it seems an invluable book to look at, if we ever hope to overcome the pharmaceutical grip on today’s Western approach to health.  For more information, view the book on Amazon, or try listening to the interview on Madness Radio – a free podcast accessible via iTunes.

Vrinda Pendred
Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

I, for one, have turned a blind eye to this subject for too many years, because let’s face it, I like pizza and ice cream!  But at what cost?  That’s why this week I decided to be sensible and shift our family’s diet for good.

I will be honest: I like tofu, but I hate soya milk/yogurt, so I don’t know how to cut out dairy completely.  But the no-gluten has turned out to be surprisingly easy.  The main issue is cost.  There is corn pasta, for example, which is delicious and naturally gluten-free…but it costs twice as much as a bag of normal wheat pasta, and you can’t go and get it from your local corner shop at 7pm when you realise you’ve run out of food!

So we’ve decided, for now, to try having almost no gluten or dairy – to minimise our intake of such foods greatly and save them for occasional treats.  As it turns out, this is simply achieved.

We also happen to be vegetarian, so we’re following a book called The Low GI Vegetarian Cookbook by Professor Jennie Brand Miller, Kaye Foster-Powell and Joanna McMillan.  Everything looks fantastic, and at the back they even lay out what to keep stocked in your pantry, fridge and freezer.  We did a big shop yesterday of mostly tinned and frozen foods, as well as bagged beans, seeds and nuts – so it will keep over the next couple weeks, plus it’s all so good for you, as well as being filling.  Last night, I even made a crustless apple crumble with cinnamon, apples, oats, a tiny smidgen of butter, lemon juice and agave syrup, the ultimate natural healthy sugar substitute.  It was just as good as any other apple crumble, but it had hardly any calories and was even good for you.

This isn’t about dieting – it’s about cutting down on the allergies and living sensibly.  I also have to say the cooking has been so beneficial for my ADD.  It fills up spaces of time when I would otherwise feel listless and overwhelmed by racing thoughts – it focuses my attention so much that my mind is clear and even my Tourette’s tics seem to calm down for the time.
So now the only question is: how many of you are ready to join me?

Vrinda Pendred
Editor & Founder of Conditional Publications

OCD Week (6th – 13th February 2010) is a week of engaging, informing and inspiring events for people affected by OCD. We will be running a series of on-line seminars, a host of awareness raising events and two major conferences; London (6th Feb) and Manchester (13th Feb).

For more information visit http://www.ocdweek.org or call the OCD Action office on 0207 253 5272

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